Monday, February 16, 2009

Domestic Violence Spreads its Ugly Seed on to Those Who Grew Up In Its Presence

With the release of Chris Brown's statement the spotlight is on domestic violence right now. While I am not, and never will condone Chris Brown's actions; parents need to watch this story and listen closely. Here is a 19 year old boy who hurt the girl he proclaimed to love. Rhianna is a young girl who has been reported to have alluded to previous issues with Chris and yet did not walk away after the first time he hurt her. Chris Brown has vocalized that he sees his childhood as one that was in the dark shadow of domestic violence between his step father and his mother. Yet, even though he hated the idea of someone hurting his mother, he too has sadly found himself in the role of an abuser - the very thing he once angrily spoke out against. If you are raising your children in an environment of Domestic Violence, no amount of reasonijg you can tell yourself to justify what is happening will ever help you when you hear of your child either repeating the pattern of hurting someone, or repeating being the victim. Domestic violence, like other dysfunctional family issues, permitates itself into the very soul of the family members. It is like a diesease that rears it's ugly head when least expected. It affects all those in it's path and will continue to repeat in generations to come until someone in the chain stops hiding it, and exposes it for what it is: a criminal act. Obviously in Chris Brown's statement he is sorry for what happened. Many that abuse are sorry for what they have done. Unfortunately, being sorry and regrettful doesn't always equal stopping their actions. Many that have abused someone have regretted their actions only to do it again.
"Words cannot begin to express how sorry and saddened I am over what transpired. I am seeking the counseling of my pastor, my mother and other loved ones and I am committed, with God’s help, to emerging a better person. Much of what has been speculated or reported on blogs and/or reported in the media is wrong. While I would like to be able to talk about this more, until the legal issues are resolved, this is all I can say except that I have not written any messages or made any posts to Facebook, on blogs or any place else. Those posts or writings under my name are frauds."
I sincerely hope in this case it will turn out for the best and Chris will grow and emerge a better person for having been accountable for this experience. Likewise, I'm hoping Rhianna will also come out of this a stronger, empowered young woman, confident in who she is and know it never is acceptable for someone to hurt her. Domestic Violence is not limited to adult, married couples, unfortunately this is also a problem that has emerged in the lives of our children's generation. If you know or suspect a young adult or teen in your life is being abused or doing the abusing, reach out to them and let them know it's not acceptable and you are there to help them. Let someone you care about where to get help: http://www.ndvh.org/

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