Tuesday, March 2, 2010

First Thing They Gotta Do to Win? Learn to Lose!

Is you’re a child a good loser?

Think about it.
This is important.

Learning how to lose prepares one for success.

Pick a truly successful person, look into their lives, you will likely find the following to be true:

1. They aren’t afraid of being wrong or of ‘losing,’ enabling them to take risks, or try new and unique ideas.
2. When they do lose, they have the ability to learn and grow from their experience; identifying what they can do better next time.
3. When defeated, they are able to see and admire their opponent’s skills objectively and strive to incorporate how their opponents bested them.
4. They are willing to ‘lose’ fans, admirers or supporters by going against the grain, following their instincts with confidence.
5. After being defeated they don’t play the blame game, they don’t feel the need to offer excuses, because they know ultimately it is up to them, what is needed to turn the defeat around is inside of them.

How does this apply to our children’s lives?

1. Are your kids willing to raise their hand in class and participate, offering their perspective, not being muted into silence by being afraid of being wrong.
2. After receiving a bad grade on an exam they prepared weeks prior, can they look inside and see how they could modify their studying process for the next exam. Will they read the red pen comments and make note on how to incorporate what is being suggested, how to fix what has been circled the next time?
3. After running for, and not winning a student government position, do they trash their opponent? Or, can they agree, their opponent’s posters were better, or their speech was more concise, etc.,
4. In peer pressure situations are they able to rise above the pressure and remain true to their convictions, following their instincts on what is right?
5. They don’t come off the field blaming a loss on the referee, poor conditions of the field, their sore toe, or having stale toast for breakfast.

From my perspective, those who have learned how to fail, to lose the game, and to be wrong at times, are those who will achieve, excel and be successful.

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