Saturday, June 6, 2009

SEXTING - Happening More than Parents Want to Admit

OMG is all I could think when I read NetLingo's "The Top 50 Acronyms Every Parent Needs to Know" ,

I had heard about '420' from my middle child. Not quite understanding how that was a reference to smoking pot, I asked and he laughingly replied, "cuz stoners are usually stoned each day by 4:20 in the afternoon." That was the moment I realized that I wasn't so hip as I thought. I had NEVER heard that.

In addition to the acronyms listed, I had heard about FWB, (not included on the list). FWB = Friends with Benefits. Basically meaning, we aren't going steady or anything, but we like to fool around together...

My moment of realization about FWB only made me think, OMG all over again. Has "Girls Lib" evolved to this? Do our young girls not want any 'strings' attached either? But then - hey, they still want to fool around too?

The very young of 11, 12 and 13 are sending pics of themselves that start out as very flirtatious and where they land nobody knows...

Do our young boys realize, when they receive a sexy, nude picture, the instant they forward it to friends, the state may attempt to charge him, for distribution of pornography,or other various, pornographic related charges.

This is all new territory. While I want the law to be clear and firm, a 13 year old boy who, in dis-belief at what he has received, forwards to a friend saying - WHOA, what the heck.. shouldn't be charged with pornography, should he? It's all very confusing, and new paths for parents to navigate. None of the parenting books I bought with my first positive pregnancy test addressed this!

Recently in a local middle school this whole naked pics being sent and received scenario played out; in the end the boy received a school suspension.

Ironically, the girl causing the uproar was not even taken out of class to discuss what had happened. (The sending and receiving both happened during school hours).

Shockingly, it was the girl who eventually walked into the school office complaining, "everyone is laughing at me cuz I texted my boobs."

Obviously, pre-teens, and young teens are not old enough, mature enough or logical enough to understand the impact of what they are doing.

Texting has taken the text book 'school hall flirting,' the old, "talking to a boy for the first time, stuttering and all" to a WHOLE NEW LEVEL.

When one of my son's couldn't believe I had deleted some questionable pics on his phone his one response was why am I all into his business, it is PRIVATE! I sat him down for a serious talk about several topics, including the LACK OF PRIVACY regarding ANYTHING on line, anywhere.

They don't get it. They don't see that once distributed, even to JUST ONE PERSON, they have LOST ALL control on that picture, that text, that attachment. No one can ever be confident they know for SURE where any and all references, copies, lift outs, anything - from that one distribution have gone to.

Sexting is defintely an issue among pre teens and up that needs to be addressed in a serious and thoughtful manner.

Once again, parental/child conversations, (not lectures), on self-worth and self-esteem can play a big part of stymying this dangerous teen trend.

Dinner table talk about the lack of thought that goes into such actions, pointing out the negative repricussions resulting for all involved, and mostly - how sad it is that kids feel the need to do THAT to feel included, wanted or "loved."

Parents Please - Be Aware, Be Involved, Be Vigilant, Be Vocal... and always, Be Loving!

Guidance done with love, always trumps lectures laced with itimidation and force.

Talk so your children will listen, and then, listen so your children will talk.

From my perspective, the attention seeking spontaeous wild moment of behavoir at a teen party, usually long forgotten within a week, well.... thats been replaced with things like sexting! Sexting can never be truly forgotten, because it can never be fully erased from the e-world we all now live in.

1 comment:

mynetshepherd said...

Yes it is happening...and so are all the other things regarding teens and cyber bullying, predators, stalking, identity theft, and the list goes on.

You can help protect your (and our) kids by knowing what it going on. Twenty first century parenting requires parents to be a bit tech savy.

please visit for more information. Also,