First Thing They Gotta Do to Win? Learn to Lose!

Is you’re a child a good loser?

Think about it.
This is important.

Learning how to lose prepares one for success.

Pick a truly successful person, look into their lives, you will likely find the following to be true:

1. They aren’t afraid of being wrong or of ‘losing,’ enabling them to take risks, or try new and unique ideas.
2. When they do lose, they have the ability to learn and grow from their experience; identifying what they can do better next time.
3. When defeated, they are able to see and admire their opponent’s skills objectively and strive to incorporate how their opponents bested them.
4. They are willing to ‘lose’ fans, admirers or supporters by going against the grain, following their instincts with confidence.
5. After being defeated they don’t play the blame game, they don’t feel the need to offer excuses, because they know ultimately it is up to them, what is needed to turn the defeat around is inside of them.

How does this apply to our children’s lives?

1. Are your kids willing to raise their hand in class and participate, offering their perspective, not being muted into silence by being afraid of being wrong.
2. After receiving a bad grade on an exam they prepared weeks prior, can they look inside and see how they could modify their studying process for the next exam. Will they read the red pen comments and make note on how to incorporate what is being suggested, how to fix what has been circled the next time?
3. After running for, and not winning a student government position, do they trash their opponent? Or, can they agree, their opponent’s posters were better, or their speech was more concise, etc.,
4. In peer pressure situations are they able to rise above the pressure and remain true to their convictions, following their instincts on what is right?
5. They don’t come off the field blaming a loss on the referee, poor conditions of the field, their sore toe, or having stale toast for breakfast.

From my perspective, those who have learned how to fail, to lose the game, and to be wrong at times, are those who will achieve, excel and be successful.

Playground Bullies have Morphed into our Worst Nightmare

Michael Brewer, a 15 year old boy from Deerfield Beach, Florida, was purposely set on fire by several classmates between 13 and 15 years old. When classmates tried to steel his father's bike from him, he didn't threaten the kids, he didn't spread viral, internet rumors about them, Michael Brewer responded in an appropriate manner, filing a report with the police. He 'followed the rules' of society. Sadly, Michael's mature response to having his property threatened was the catalyst to his being in an incubated and painful state in a hopsital bed. Every school has had the challenge of dealing with 'bullies.' Kids who can't express their feelings verbally and resorted to pushing and shoving in line or pushing down a kid on the playground when they lost the game. Or the lunchroom bully, someone who didn't have as much as others, and vents their frustrations and jelousy by taking food from those less vocal. Watching the evening news, could make a parent nostalgic for those days; when a parent's worst fear was their child would miss the bus, or a schoolmate behave hurtfully towards their child. Five teenage boys, the youngest barely a teen at 13, targeted Michael; they called him a snitch. These boys plotted, planned and attacked Michael by dousing Michael with rubbing alcohol and setingt him on fire! If this horrific scene was that of a movie, it would be labled at a minimum, 'PG-13' or probably 'R' for violence. These ratings established to protect our youth from being exposed to such violence. Only in this case, it's the 13 to 15 year olds executing this firestorm of violence. In the flick of a match how many lives ended? Probably too many to count. Michael's life, in jepordy as he battles back from the burns covering his body. His mother's life will never be the same. Mom now has the burden of seeing her scarred son, no longer who he was before that day. Michael's family will incur an incredible amount of debt in hospital bills. The round the clock he will require in his healing, will take his mother away from his sister. Simultaneously dealing with her own tornado of emotions, mom will be helping her son through the pain and confusion of what happened, and supporting her daughter who is probably just as confused, angry and hurting over the event. The five accused? Their lives as they knew them are over, their parents, their families - all these lives affected by the insanely violent acts of their children. Will this community lose trust in those around them? Will they pull their kids closer to them, and try to shield them from the violence in the world - creating an even more segmented and segregated population? Obviously society has lost it's way. Our children, cliche as this is, are the future. Our future doesn't look bright, if this incident represents children of today, our future is a dark storm brewing, and teeming with those who have never been told 'NO,' who weren't given the opportunity to learn how to lose with dignity, children who have never felt like they belonged, kids who haven't been held accountable, and were cheated the gifts of humility, empathy and justice. How did these children go 13, or 15 years on this earth and come to the conclusion that attacking a boy with fire was the solution to their problem? Where were the parents of these angry boys? Michael's parent was with him, offering love and support to his fear of bullies, going through the 'right' channels at school to work out a strategy on how to deal with bullies. Where was the school leadership? If Michael's mom was making all the right calls to the appropriate people at school, why wasn't the school making the calls immediately to the homes of those boys. Why weren't they there making sure the boys weren't allowed to interact with Michael - or any other students for that matter? I once read the line, "it is a hungry man who starts a revolution." When I read that, many things that had been very confusing and I grappled with to understand, suddenly made sense. Perhaps these boys were hungry, or in this case starving, for the love and affection that makes a parent say "no," or have the strength to teach their child a tough lessons early on in life. Maybe these boys were starving for their community to accept them and guide them on what is right and wrong. They've probably always been hungry for the confidence of knowing who you are and being proud of yourself. I can't picture 5 boys not growing up hungry for love and attention lighting another boy on fire. Actually, I can't see those boys trying to take a bike; because those boys would have known better -- and it never would have escalated to this magnitude of violence. From my perspective, from day one, parents need to feed their children with love and compassion and empathy for those around them. By dousing their children's hunger to belong, they are dousing the fires of the future.

DC Suburb Middle School Embraces Twitter to Communicate to Parents!

Rockville, MD. June 17th, 2009. Redland Middle School . Principal, Robert Sinclair announced today, via his email distribution list to parents, the school's new utilization of Twitter as an additional communications tool to reach out to parents and school community members as needed. For those of you not already enjoying the big buzz of connecting via Twitter, is a free, social messaging utility for staying connected in real-time.

When asked, Why Twitter? Mr. Sinclair responded, "My reasoning is to get more parents more actively involved in their children’s education and to inform parents about what is going on and how they can play a more prominent role in their child’s education."

Mostly known and used in Social Media Marketing circles, Twitter is quickly becoming more accepted by "traditional" press, advertising, customer service departments, customer feedback, and plain 'ole socializing! And now it appears, schools!

So, "two thumbs up" to Robert Sinclair; his commitment to effective distribution of information as accurately and efficiently as possible, and his equally tenacious efforts in collecting community feedback, input and suggestions.

Already appreciated for his use of technology to keep connected, including: 'Friday wrap up the week' Emails, Yahoo Distribution list, (providing parents with the morning announcements and more), auto caller for absentee student confirmations and important reminders, automated teacher grade books for parental viewing and more, his addition of Twitter to his communication arsenal reveals he is a principal willing to think out of the box and use multiple tools, to reach multiple people, via multiple preferred ways of communication!

From My Perspective: Principals embracing Twitter are Principals who are committed to connecting and communicating with their school's community! A community of parents in the know, are much more involved and active in both their student's lives and school activities - and that... ladies and gentlemen, lays the groundwork for our children to become adults who are committed and involved members of their communitites! ... and this is a good thing.