SEXTING - Happening More than Parents Want to Admit

OMG is all I could think when I read NetLingo's "The Top 50 Acronyms Every Parent Needs to Know" ,

I had heard about '420' from my middle child. Not quite understanding how that was a reference to smoking pot, I asked and he laughingly replied, "cuz stoners are usually stoned each day by 4:20 in the afternoon." That was the moment I realized that I wasn't so hip as I thought. I had NEVER heard that.

In addition to the acronyms listed, I had heard about FWB, (not included on the list). FWB = Friends with Benefits. Basically meaning, we aren't going steady or anything, but we like to fool around together...

My moment of realization about FWB only made me think, OMG all over again. Has "Girls Lib" evolved to this? Do our young girls not want any 'strings' attached either? But then - hey, they still want to fool around too?

The very young of 11, 12 and 13 are sending pics of themselves that start out as very flirtatious and where they land nobody knows...

Do our young boys realize, when they receive a sexy, nude picture, the instant they forward it to friends, the state may attempt to charge him, for distribution of pornography,or other various, pornographic related charges.

This is all new territory. While I want the law to be clear and firm, a 13 year old boy who, in dis-belief at what he has received, forwards to a friend saying - WHOA, what the heck.. shouldn't be charged with pornography, should he? It's all very confusing, and new paths for parents to navigate. None of the parenting books I bought with my first positive pregnancy test addressed this!

Recently in a local middle school this whole naked pics being sent and received scenario played out; in the end the boy received a school suspension.

Ironically, the girl causing the uproar was not even taken out of class to discuss what had happened. (The sending and receiving both happened during school hours).

Shockingly, it was the girl who eventually walked into the school office complaining, "everyone is laughing at me cuz I texted my boobs."

Obviously, pre-teens, and young teens are not old enough, mature enough or logical enough to understand the impact of what they are doing.

Texting has taken the text book 'school hall flirting,' the old, "talking to a boy for the first time, stuttering and all" to a WHOLE NEW LEVEL.

When one of my son's couldn't believe I had deleted some questionable pics on his phone his one response was why am I all into his business, it is PRIVATE! I sat him down for a serious talk about several topics, including the LACK OF PRIVACY regarding ANYTHING on line, anywhere.

They don't get it. They don't see that once distributed, even to JUST ONE PERSON, they have LOST ALL control on that picture, that text, that attachment. No one can ever be confident they know for SURE where any and all references, copies, lift outs, anything - from that one distribution have gone to.

Sexting is defintely an issue among pre teens and up that needs to be addressed in a serious and thoughtful manner.

Once again, parental/child conversations, (not lectures), on self-worth and self-esteem can play a big part of stymying this dangerous teen trend.

Dinner table talk about the lack of thought that goes into such actions, pointing out the negative repricussions resulting for all involved, and mostly - how sad it is that kids feel the need to do THAT to feel included, wanted or "loved."

Parents Please - Be Aware, Be Involved, Be Vigilant, Be Vocal... and always, Be Loving!

Guidance done with love, always trumps lectures laced with itimidation and force.

Talk so your children will listen, and then, listen so your children will talk.

From my perspective, the attention seeking spontaeous wild moment of behavoir at a teen party, usually long forgotten within a week, well.... thats been replaced with things like sexting! Sexting can never be truly forgotten, because it can never be fully erased from the e-world we all now live in.

Inform Your Kids - Their Health Depends On It!

Our kids need to be aware of the realities associated with sexual activity. They need to respect their bodies and self to know better than to throw themselves into a pool of opportunities that will put them in over their heads.

Warning - blog entry below falls under the 'uncomfortable topic' genre - Teenage Sexuality.

My husband and I have taught our children the importance of valuing their virginity, to have a strong sense of self-worth, and to resist the peer pressure associated with having pre-marital, casual sex.

That being said, I also know that my one guy in college is making choices of his own on a daily basis that could change his life in a heartbeat.

So why send our kids out into the big bad world uninformed?

Today's kids are pressured in more ways and more often, and much younger to have sex than I ever remembered in my high school and college days.

Perhaps presenting the cold hard facts associated with having indiscriminate sex to them would hit home.

For instance, not all teens realize that STDs (Sexually Transmitted Diseases) are diseases, infections or illnesses that spread from one person to another through sexual contact or sexual touching, to intercourse.

From some of my experiences working with teen groups, the large majority of them felt an STD only resulted from actual sexual intercourse.

The average teen in my group also thought that AIDS was the only STD that caused death. They did not understand that certain STDS left untreated, or incorrectly treated could cause very serious illnesses that can lead to death.

Some teens are familiar with the terms Syphilis, Gonorrhea and Chlamydia;all of them being STDs caused by a bacteria and can usually be treated with medication.

However, very few understand that left untreated can cause blindness, or their ability to have a child in the future. In one of my groups, only one teen in 14 knew that a girl living with one of these STD's could pass it on to to her baby during birth, and causing the newborn to be very ill. None of the kids knew that Syphilis not treated can result in death.

Hepatitis B - most of the teens thought this was a disease that only people outside of the US would get, because they had shots when they were a baby against Hepatitis. What they didn't realize is that it was passed through the simple act of kissing - let alone sexual contact or contact with a dirty needle. None of them realized there is no cure for the Hep B, only medications to help, nor how serious the disease is.

The topic of genital warts brought lots of snickering in the group. They stopped that quickly when I explained how quickly these warts multiply and how much this infection also multiples a woman's chance at cervical cancer.

Herpes also had a few laughing - saying that it wasn't that serious. More of an embarrassing thing than a health issue. Yet they didn't understand that there is no cure for it, and again, if a woman was 'active' during birth, could cause her newborn to be blind. Very few were aware that not all people know when they are "shedding" herpes and therefore could be passing it on to their partners and not even know it.

HIV - AIDS has definitely caught their attention and they did understand the ramifications of this horrible disease, yet they still continue to think - that it wouldn't ever affect their lives, because none of the participants in my group were gay.

It never occur ed to them that a girl they slept with, slept with a boy, who slept with a girl who slept with a boy who... tried a needle drug on a dare, or who.... experimented one time with homosexuality....

I have discussed all the other VERY IMPORTANT reasons for my kids NOT to engage in casual sex, and instead, trying to wait until marriage, etc., These conversations are just as important to have.

Awkward as it may be, don't avoid having discussions about STDs with your kids, it is too important NOT to. The STD conversation may be the talk that 'clicks' for your kid, being the catalyst that makes them more aware of the risks associated.

In My Perspective, I don't care what ignites that moment of clarity when they see the ramifications of what could happen, I just want the light bulb to go on!

Bravo MTV for Telling Pedro Zamora's Story - Parent's Turn on the TV for This One and Watch it With Your Kids

Thank you MTV for creating and broadcasting Pedro's story, he put a face on the disease when he was alive, and now, he will continue to help raise awareness. As parents, we need to be aware of our children's choices and make sure they are making informed decisions in their lives. Pedro's story needs to be heard. If discussing sexuality with your older children is too hard a topic for you, perhaps using MTV's "Pedro" as a catalyst will help you. Watching it together could be a wonderful way to approach the whole topic. Whether we want to admit it or not our children, at one time or another, will become sexually active. We can't control when it happens.

We can influence our children's perspective.

We can inform our children about the facts.

We can make sure they are aware of all the repercussions of their choices and actions.

I do hope my children will have the self restraint to resist the overt sexual messages that surround them each day. Realistically I know they face tough choices all the time. So, what I can do is share everything I can while they are with me.

Becoming sexually active without the knowledge of how to protect yourself, is like jumping into a pool not knowing how to swim, essentially putting themselves at great risk.

Hopefully, my husband and I will have instilled our family values in our children's thought process while they are home with us. We have tried to always be honest with the facts surrounding their potential actions and choices.

HIV AIDS hasn't gone away, and it won't go away until we face it head on and be above board about the facts surrounding the issue.

My brother was diagnosed with, lived with, and eventually died from AIDS. Like Pedro, he didn't run away from it, he faced it. He helped raise awareness, he went against the establishment, went public and worked to have a law that changed that was preventing him (and many other HIV Positive/AIDS patients) from receiving social security.

Hiding from things that scare us is never a solution, it never makes what your facing easier, it never accomplishes anything but delaying the inevitable.

When it's the right time, and your kids are the appropriate age, don't run away and hide from what needs to be said. Face your fears, then face your children and tell them the facts.

From my perspective, sharing information that helps our children make wise and responsible choices is one more way of telling them we love them. Whether our children are straight or gay, they all deserve to live a long and happy life, filled with love. Love your children enough to inform them.

Photo Credit: http://www.mtv.com/